| Who is the luckiest man in the world? George
W. Bush? Good guess. Anybody who gets a month of vacation after less than eight months on
the job is truly fortunate. But he’s got a pair of hell-raising daughters to worry
about, so he’s not quite the luckiest man in the world.
Gary Condit? Obviously not. That guy has more problems than all of those found in the
FBI and IRS combined. Condit has clearly run out of luck.
Michael Vick? Well, he is blessed with some of the rarest athletic skills you will ever
see. And he was drafted first overall and will receive boatloads of money over the course
of his playing and endorsing career — except he has to do it in Atlanta, a city that
hasn’t exactly warmed to the Falcons during most of their tenure in that city. So,
while very lucky, Vick doesn’t qualify as the luckiest man in the world.
So, by now, you are wondering: Who is the luckiest man in the world? Well, I’ll
tell you — in a minute.
First, let me tell you some of the things that have made this person so damned lucky.
To qualify, you have to be given multiple chances, even when you’ve shown you
don’t deserve them. You have to be removed from a situation that isn’t right for
you, and be put into one that may be right. You can misbehave without suffering any
significant consequences.
Are you getting a hint?
If you said that Cade McNown is the luckiest man in the world, you would be correct. If
I were McNown, the first thing I’d do when I got to Miami is to go on one of those
little casino cruises that heads offshore into international waters where betting is
legal. Once there, I’d bet my entire original signing bonus on one spin of the
roulette wheel. This kid can’t lose.
I mean, after going down in flames in Chicago, he gets traded to Miami. Chicago in
November, or Miami in November? Which would you prefer? He struck it rich in that aspect
of the deal alone.
Plus, he’s leaving a team that will likely finish below .500. The Bears have
little hope of reaching the playoffs this season, while the Dolphins are strong contenders
to win their division. Not half bad.
Not only is he getting a one-way ticket out of a town that he alienated with his poor
play and immature behavior, but he is going to get another chance to prove he is worthy of
playing quarterback in the NFL. And he gets to do it without any pressure. The Dolphins
already have a starting quarterback in Jay Fiedler. (Did I really just write that —
Jay Fiedler, starting quarterback?) The Dolphins already have a solid backup in Ray Lucas.
McNown gets to come in and learn the system, carry a clipboard and regain some confidence.
I don’t know if the regaining confidence is really necessary, though, as he has never
lacked a personality trait called arrogance. But he does need to get it back together on
the field.
After all, he has been woefully disappointing considering he was a first-round pick in
1999. He has completed less than 55 percent of his passes in the pros, and he has tossed
more interceptions than touchdowns. While he’s not the worst quarterback I’ve
ever seen, he’s certainly not as gifted as many people believed he was when he came
out UCLA.
Now, while he sits back and collects weekly paychecks this year, he will be given a
chance to start over. Learn the Miami offense. Hone his quarterbacking skills. Get a fresh
start with a new bunch of teammates. Learn how to be one of the guys.
Eventually — heck, maybe even next season — McNown could turn out to be a
good quarterback. He might even get it all together and become a great quarterback. While
Fiedler has a hold on the starting job for now, no one believes he is the next Dan Marino.
No matter what Dave Wannstedt says, the Dolphins are still searching for a franchise
quarterback. McNown will be given a chance to become that guy.
Is this guy lucky or what?
Throw in the fact that McNown has been linked to a certain Playboy Playmate, and that
just clinches it.
Cade McNown is the luckiest man on earth! |
