| While doing my best to fully absorb the
perpetual wheeling and dealing that took place on the first day of this year’s draft,
I couldn’t help but be reminded of one of my all-time favorite movie reviews. I
forget who the critic was, but his succinct review of the three-hour-plus war epic
"The Longest Day" — which told the story of a different kind of D-day
— couldn’t have been more perfect, even though it contained as many words as the
movie’s title.
The review is presented in its entirety in the following paragraph:
"It sure was."
While ESPN’s blanket coverage of the longest draft ever wasn’t nearly as
painful to sit through as "The Longest Day," I believe those of us who managed
to sit through the whole thing deserve major-league kudos.
Especially the first round, which consumed a record five hours, 48 minutes.
The proceedings dragged on for so long that Daniel Snyder and Steve Spurrier could have
flown the team helicopter to Bay Hill for a quick nine before making the Redskins’
first pick if they had wanted.
It’s no wonder the Cowboys’ brain trust, headed by owner Jerry Jones, almost
allowed the time to expire for Dallas’ first-round selection. Attention spans across
the league couldn’t help but wander, as teams sifted through the haze of one
smokescreen after another in the process of methodically making their picks.
Even the ESPN draft team’s rousing rendition of the Boz Skaggs classic
"Lido" — after the Eagles selected Florida CB Lito Sheppard late in the
first round — couldn’t break the monotony.
But there’s no sense complaining. As is the case with the Academy Awards, you have
to understand from the get-go that the draft always seems like it’s going to last
forever.
As George Clooney said in "Oceans 11," "either you’re in or
you’re out."
I managed to stay "in" during every minute of ESPN’s first-round
coverage, my lovely wife’s dirty looks notwithstanding. And I channel-hopped my way
through a hefty portion of Sunday’s coverage too, before finally running out of gas
about halfway through the sixth round.
I’ll sum up my thoughts on the 2002 draft — quickly.
The team that did the best job in my mind was San Diego. The Chargers struck gold at
the No. 5 spot in the first round with Quentin Jammer, by far the best cornerback
available, and kept the riches coming in the second round with Toniu Fonoti, by far the
best offensive guard available.
The team that shot the most blanks (no pun intended) was Atlanta, who opted to select
Michigan State RB T.J. Duckett with its first pick, even though it had just paid a
king’s ransom to free agent Warrick Dunn to supposedly become the featured attraction
in the Falcons’ offense. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t the indecision
as to whether Dunn or Mike Alstott was Tampa Bay’s offensive centerpiece at the root
of the Bucs’ offensive problems? Isn’t a similar dilemma involving Dunn and
Duckett another headache in the making?
Before signing off, I should tell you that I gave my wife a break this past weekend by
agreeing to take her to a movie Saturday night. But there was no escaping the effect the
draft was having on my brain cells as I sat through a flick that could have been a perfect
title for this year’s D-day marathon.
The movie? "Murder by Numbers."
My review?
"Give me the draft any day." |
