| Well, here we go. If you're reading this, you're
likely just as curious as the rest of the country about this newfangled XFL thing. Well,
I'm with you. My predictions are at the bottom of the column. Years from now, you'll say
you were there. Of course, I fit into the demographic that everyone says is guaranteed to
watch the XFL: males 18-25 (or so). But I don't watch the World Wrestling Federation; I
love football. There's been a lot said about the XFL. First, I want to clear up right
off the bat that in no way am I, or will I be, an XFL apologist or promoter. I'm excited
about the league, and I think it will do just fine. Many NFL experts have been really
skeptical about the league, and rightfully so. They feel an abundance of things is wrong
with this whole XFL experiment. They've taken a wait-and-see approach, which is OK.
But as a fellow so-called "expert," I'm going to say my piece here about the
worries about the XFL and football, sex and violence:
1. I doubt that the XFL is an attack on the NFL. Vince McMahon is a shrewd businessman
and obviously very smart. He's got to be smart enough not to go up against what is
arguably America's newest favorite pastime. At least not yet. Some folks have taken issue
with the "real football" ads because they misinterpret them as being an attack
on the NFL. Personally, I think the ads are just trying to convince us that the XFL will
have real football, not fake football. Besides, how could the league disguise fake
football? If it's fake, anyone with half a brain will know it. Everyone knows the WWF is
faked, but people still watch. And the WWF hasn't ruined real wrestling one bit. Football,
like real wrestling, is a sport, ladies and gentlemen — it is unscriptable,
especially when a ball is involved. The only scripted stuff I think you'll see will be on
the sidelines and off the field. And if that's the case, then what the heck is wrong with
that? It's funny that the same media that bugged Ray Lewis all last week is pooh-poohing
the XFL for its potential soap-opera mentality.
2. All the social purists out there are worried about the sex and violence that the XFL
is bringing to prime-time Saturdays. Have any of these people watched television lately?
Or did they just happen to see the XFL cheerleader commercial, or hear about the
locker-room cameras on the evening news? There's all kinds of violence and sex on TV
nowadays. Quite frankly, I think the XFL will be just fine. I doubt it will be any more
violent than the NFL, and for vulgarity and sexual innuendos, there's a delay that NBC has
said it will use. If they weren't planning on using a delay, the cheerleader commercial
would've left nothing to the imagination
(which, by the way, is the point of the advertisement, and I believe will be the point of
any sexual innuendos in the XFL). Do you think for a second NBC is going to allow a naked
woman or man to be shown or allow the f-word to purposely go out over the airwaves on
prime-time Saturday? Not even the WWF programming allows that. You're oblivious to how TV
programming works if you believe that will happen now. If you want to knock something off
for sex, go after "Temptation Island." That doesn't even have the cover of a
sporting event.
Basically, my main idea here is that everyone needs to calm down about all the supposed
bad things the XFL is bringing. No one knows for sure what the XFL will be, not even the
XFL. Not even I know; I'm just making a very educated guess using common sense. The XFL
will be much more exciting for the audience; that's for certain. Even without the
cheerleaders and soap operas.
There are certain rule modifications that speed the game up and bring the
intensity to the fans. No fair catches on punts (though a huge, five-yard cushion will
protect the returner from losing his head), punts are LIVE after traveling 25 yards down
the field, college-style overtime and no kicking of extra points — you must get in
the endzone.
Also, there have been some reports that the coin toss to determine possession will be
thrown out the window in favor of a more exciting determinant. The XFL hasn't decided yet
whether to keep the coin toss or place the ball on the 50-yard line and have the teams (or
individuals) race to get the ball first. The winner of that would then choose to receive
or defend. How exciting is that?
So give the XFL a fighting chance and don't knock it until after the first games this
weekend. Sure, the players aren't nearly as good as the NFL players. But that's why the
excitement levels have been raised. If you put these players in the CFL or the old USFL,
the league would tank badly. (Even with Herschel Walker, I couldn't bear to watch a USFL
game on ESPN Classic recently.) The Arena Football League is a good example of why the XFL
will likely do well. Arena Football has "minor league" players but has different
rules to make up for it, making the game more enjoyable for the fans. I still consider the
Arena League football; it's just a different form of football. The NFL doesn't set the
rules for football, just for its own league.
The XFL is not going to die easily, if it does die — I'll tell you that. It will
be with us for a few years. McMahon has built in a few factors that will help his league
succeed. He's made the rules more exciting, he's gotten players with some NFL experience
who just want to play the game (re: have heart), and he's preying upon a vulnerability
that most NFL fans go through each year: post-Super Bowl "depression." By
starting the XFL this week, McMahon is banking on the fact that many football fans miss
football after the Super Bowl and the Pro Bowl doesn't fill their needs. I think he's
invested well.
NFL fans will watch, and the XFL will have its chance to win them over this week. This
is McMahon's biggest venture after the WWF itself. And if he does half as well with the
XFL as he did with the WWF, we could be in good football shape for years to come. But a
lot of it depends on this week.
Hanacek's crapshoot XFL predictions
Since no one really knows how the new rules will affect the game, it's tough to predict
what will happen on the field. So, given all the uncertainties, here's how I think things
will pan out in the XFL this season. But I wouldn't bet the farm on my picks.
Eastern Conference
1. Chicago Enforcers — They have two former NFL running backs, a
good WR corps and a pretty solid-looking defense. Now, if one of the three quarterbacks
steps up, the Enforcers will make a once-proud football town proud once again.
2. Birmingham Thunderbolts — The Bolts should battle the
Enforcers down to the wire with a similar offense and a better set of quarterbacks. But
the Bolts seem to lack big names on the defensive side of the ball.
3. Orlando Rage — QB Jeff Brohm and a speedy three-receiver set
could put up enough points, but will the defense be able to keep opposing offenses down?
The front four looks good, but the secondary looks a bit shaky.
4. New York/New Jersey Hitmen — In a supposed offense-heavy
league, I don't think I'd put much faith in the Puleri-Philyaw-Dar Dar triumvirate. It
sounds like a World War II treaty or law firm gone awry. But RB Dino Philyaw and WR Kirby
Dar Dar do have NFL experience, so they could stand out. The Hitmen will be the only team
running a 3-4 defense in the East.
Western Conference
1. Memphis Maniax — Having five former NFL first-round picks on
your squad has got to count for something. RB Rashaan Salaam has been having a huge camp
from what I've heard, and QBs Craig Whelihan and Jim Druckenmiller have also played well.
WR Alvin Harper rounds out the offense, and the defense is loaded with potential. I give
you your first XFL champion, over the Enforcers in April (I give myself approval to change
my picks once the playoffs arrive, of course).
2. Los Angeles Xtreme — Sure, oddsmakers picked these guys, but
really, I can't see them outdoing the Maniax. The Xtreme have tons of talent, but the
potential doesn't seem as solid as the Maniax's potential.
3. Las Vegas Outlaws — Their loaded defense will slow a lot of
teams down, but their offense doesn't seem to have the firepower necessary. They could
become the Ravens of the XFL, without the championship.
4. San Francisco Demons — Injuries destroyed this team in camp,
but if they can bounce back, they could show better than my prediction here. They're solid
at the skill positions on offense, but there isn't much else to hope for on this team.
Come back every week for great XFL analysis right here under the heading "A Closer
Look." I'll keep watching the XFL and share my thoughts with you, the "real
football" fans.
Also see: Our in-depth XFL team-by-team
preview |
