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Keanu Reeves
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If you’re interested in seeing an authentic portrayal of professional football, I
don’t suggest you see "The Replacements," the new comedy starring Keanu
Reeves and Gene Hackman. This movie is not for serious football fans, but that’s OK:
It never takes itself too seriously, and therefore works as a film. It never pretends to
be anything more than harmless summer fun, so if that’s what you’re after,
you’ll be pleased.
The gist of the story is that pro football’s players are going on strike,
prompting the need for scabs or "Replacements." No one ever uses the term
"NFL," but producer Dylan Sellers first came up with the idea during the NFL
players strike in 1987.
Hackman heads up the group of has-beens and never-weres who comprise the scab version
of the Washington Sentinels. It was hardly a stretch for Hackman to play a head coach
after his memorable role in "Hoosiers." If you’ve seen that film or clips
of it as many times as I have, you can’t help but think of Hackman as a coach. As
Sentinels head coach Jimmy McGinty, Hackman is essentially playing a scaled-down version
of Norman Dale, his ultra-serious, ultra-intense "Hoosiers" character. Here, he
delivers the occasional motivational speech, but the film is less about him than it is the
misfits who play football for him.
Reeves is the leader of the group. He plays QB Shane Falco, a former Ohio State star
who is best remembered for a horrendous performance in the 1996 Sugar Bowl vs. Florida
State. Hackman recruits Falco away from his job scraping boats in a nearby harbor. Reeves
is typically understated as Falco, a quarterback who leads more by deeds than words. He
has a lot more hair than in "The Matrix," but this role may have been just as
physically demanding. Reeves worked extensively with ex-NFL QB T.J. Rubley to hone his
passing skills. When he first arrived at the film’s "training camp,"
Reeves, a left-hander, could throw the ball only about 15 yards. About halfway through the
production, he was chucking it 50 yards down the field, according to the film’s press
release.
Reeves looks fairly convincing as a quarterback. He sets up properly and throws the
ball naturally, though he tends to push it a bit, like a southpaw version of Danny
Wuerffel. Female lead Brooke Langton, a spunky brunette who heads up the scab cheerleading
squad and becomes Falco’s love interest, reports that Reeves took some hits too.
"There was a moment during one of the games when he’s supposed to dodge a guy
on the other team, but the other player got really excited and actually took Keanu
down," Langton said. "That can knock the breath out of you, or even break a few
bones. But Keanu jumped right back up and was ready to do it again."
While Falco has some depth to him (he is the classic QB on the comeback trail,
returning to the game to redeem himself), most of the other players are caricatures, not
characters. This sort of obvious stereotyping usually bothers me in sports films, but
again, this one refuses to take itself seriously and thus is able to get away with it.
Reeves’ teammates include (yawn) the speedy wide receiver who can’t catch the
ball, played energetically by Orlando Jones, best-known as the guy in the "Make 7UP
Yours" commercials; Nate Newton-looking, overweight bodyguards-turned-offensive
guards Jamal and Andre Jackson (played by Faizon Love and Michael "Bear"
Taliferro, respectively); Sumo wrestler-turned-offensive lineman Jumbo Fumiko (Ace
Yonamine), who vomits on the field a la Cade McNown in his UCLA days; and TE Brian Murphy
(David Denman), who would have been a first-round pick had he not been deaf.
These one-dimensional characters are standard fare in sports comedies like "The
Replacements." Jones’ character, Clifford Franklin, is a carbon copy of Willie
Mays Hayes, the speedy base stealer played by Wesley Snipes in "Major League."
Langton’s Annabelle Farrell knows football better than most guys, reminding one of
Susan Sarandon’s Annie Savoy in "Bull Durham."
The most interesting member of the Sentinels is Nigel Gruff (Rhys Ifans), a Welsh-born
placekicker with at least two visible vices: drinking and gambling. Despite being
exceptionally skinny and out of shape, Gruff can kick 60-yard-plus field goals. Of course,
he doesn’t take his job seriously. As announcer John Madden observes at one point,
"I think that guy’s smoking on the field!" Indeed, Gruff puffs up before,
during and after games, and indeed Madden appears with longtime partner Pat Summerall as
the announcers for every Sentinels game.
Kudos to Madden and Summerall for playing along and not taking themselves too
seriously. (When Falco is about to kiss Farrell for the first time, you can hear Summerall
ask Madden in the background, "John, what should he do here?" Madden says,
"Go for it!" After the kiss, Madden yells, "Falco scores!") That said,
I grew weary of Madden’s inane, random commentary. It reminded me of his video
football game, which is best enjoyed with the broadcasting feature turned off.
The most entertaining member of the team is Daniel Bateman, played in completely
over-the-top fashion by Jon Favreau. Favreau is best-known as the pathetic yet endearing
would-be actor in the great film "Swingers," but here he is more reminiscent of
a character he played on "Friends" a couple of years back. For a few episodes,
Favreau played Monica’s seemingly normal billionaire boyfriend. Then he revealed his
desire to become the ultimate-fighting champion, and his character in "The
Replacements" is part middle linebacker, part SWAT-team maniac. Favreau clearly had a
blast playing this role. He runs around yelling and hitting everything in sight, including
QB Falco, who must remind Bateman that you’re not supposed to tackle the guys with
the red shirts in practice. Favreau’s Bateman also celebrates hard, leading to a
hilarious sequence where he chases Gruff around the field after the placekicker makes a
game-winning field goal. Gruff wants no part of Bateman after being knocked out during an
earlier celebration.
In several regards, "The Replacements" delves into realism. The true pros
strike because the owners balk at increasing the salary cap. The Sentinels play in
corporate-named "Nextel Stadium" (actually the Ravens’ PSINet Stadium). The
coaches put stickum on Franklin’s hands but note that it’s illegal. The coach
clashes with the quarterback when Falco misreads the blitz and audibles out of a passing
play into a running play. And about half the team gets thrown in jail following a bar
brawl. (Pro football players with criminal records — now that’s realistic!)
Of course, the film also has noticeable flaws, though they probably won’t bother
non-football fans. For one thing, the striking players are portrayed as a band of
hooligans who have nothing better to do with their time than picket outside the stadium
(as if professional athletes would ever carry their own picket signs; that’s what
agents are for), throw eggs at the scab Sentinals team bus and flip over Falco’s
pickup truck as many times as possible. Game-planning is kept to a minimum, though the
coaches acknowledge that they don’t have adequate time to prepare. The climactic,
final game of the season takes place on Thanksgiving, which is usually the equivalent of
Week 12 or 13 in the NFL. And the ending, which is terribly predictable, strays from real
football more than any other sequence in the film. I don’t want to give anything
away, but any football follower will wonder why the offense doesn’t run a Hail Mary
and why the defense isn’t in the prevent.
Overall, though, "The Replacements" scores more often than it punts. The
humor is decidedly sophomoric, but at least it’s consistent. (The audience
didn’t seem to pick up on the subtle jokes, such as when Madden and Summerall were
discussing a player who didn’t have a high school or college background. Earlier, we
had learned he was a convict being let out of prison for five weeks to play ball. All the
announcers knew was that he was a "resident of the state of Maryland.") The
movie even has some redeeming themes, the main one being the idea that everyone deserves a
second chance.
If you’re looking for a good laugh, give "The Replacements" a chance. If
you’re looking for hard-core football, rent "North Dallas Forty." |
