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Friday, Feb. 16, 2001
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This is what will happen
A confident look forward into the early months of the offseason — Part 1 of 2
By Trent Modglin, Associate editor
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| With the cold, gray February weather having
settled in over the Pro Football Weekly offices and vacation time too far off in the
distance, I have decided to look into the future for what the spring will bring us. Past
the XFL cheerleaders and miked conversations better-suited for the HBO comedy hour. Past
the upcoming Combine and owners’ meeting. Past baseball’s spring training, where
several out-of-shape sluggers will fail to report on time because $8 million isn’t
enough to feed the kids. Past all of that to what the glorious NFL will look like by the
time training camp rolls around in July. There are sunny days ahead, as the saying goes.
So let’s get to the first stage of predictions for summer.  Tony Siragusa will show up
at training camp weighing in at a sultry 430 pounds after an offseason of Super Bowl
bliss. After hazing some of the Ravens’ rookies, his first order of business will
involve raising eyebrows in the team cafeteria, as he pulls a John Belushi stunt straight
out of the movie "Animal House."
Robert Smith will be
the MVP of his intramural flag football league at Ohio State, where he will return to
pursue a lifelong dream of medical school.
Sadly, Troy Aikman
will try in vain to hook up with one more team after the Cowboys’ management makes
its best decision ever in not allowing him to play anymore.
Dick Vermeil will
turn a Kansas City podium into his own personal box of tissues after Chiefs TE Tony
Gonzalez manages to return from a sprained ankle in just two days.
Michael Vick will
startle defenders, wow teammates and fans with his athleticism and throw an interception
on about every third pass in Chargers training camp.
No one will like the
league’s realignment plan. Way to go, Texas; you screwed up everything.
The Broncos will be
the early favorites in Vegas to win it all, narrowly edging out Ray Lewis & Co.
Ryan Leaf, the
former second pick in the entire draft, will find himself in new surroundings, having to
explain to his new teammates that "all that stuff you heard about me in San Diego
wasn’t really true." If his new team plays the Chargers in 2001, the NFL may
want to avoid using microphones at field level, for the kids’ sake.
Brad Johnson will
end up in Baltimore, Corey Dillon will stay with the Bengals for the price of a
third-world country and Rickey Dudley will be plenty disappointed to find out the going
rate for an athletic specimen with greasy hands on the open market.
Jaguars RB Fred
Taylor’s name may not be mentioned in preseason MVP talk, but it should be. |
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The Archives
2000 - 2001 Season |
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| Season in review —
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