| I was going to write about something
football-related in this space, but I quickly realized that football isn’t the story
in the NFL today. The football world is abuzz about a comedian, Dennis Miller, the
controversial choice for third man in the booth on "Monday Night Football." Let
me begin by saying that I am not one of these purist zealots who believes every sports
broadcast needs to be all sports, all the time. Sports are a form of entertainment,
particularly when it comes to MNF, the longest-running prime-time show on television. (I
actually despise that expression, since MNF isn’t a TV show in the same sense that
"Seinfeld" and "ER" are TV shows. I vow to never repeat it again.) I
thoroughly enjoyed the last days of Harry Caray because he was funny, pure and simple.
Sure, he messed up a name or a play every now and then (OK, maybe more often than that),
but his vibrant personality and surprisingly clever wit made it easy to overlook those
mistakes.
In general, I abhor incompetence in my play-by-play guys, analysts and radio
personalities. Harry had an excuse for his malapropisms; he was a senile old man.
There’s no excuse for supposed professional broadcasters to come to work unprepared.
Do your homework, Dennis, and you’ll be just fine.
I got the feeling that ousted MNF color man Boomer Esiason wasn’t as prepared for
his broadcasts as he should have been. Or that he knew his stuff but didn’t know how
best to express it. Whatever, Esiason too often relied on clichés and generalities to
express a point. He was too bland for MNF and wasn’t up to the challenge of
broadcasting Super Bowl XXXIV. In fairness to Boomer, ABC didn’t do him any favors by
making him the lone analyst last season. He was in a no-win situation, set up to fail.
(A quick aside: The fact that Esiason wasn’t a great broadcaster shocked those who
used to cover him when he played quarterback. Esiason was a great quote —
well-spoken, outspoken and funny. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t translate that
ability to the broadcast booth. Those who follow baseball’s Chicago White Sox are
experiencing the same thing this year. One-time outfielder Darrin Jackson, a member of the
All-Quote Team during his playing days, is a complete bore as a broadcaster. His biggest
flaw: He seldom says anything remotely interesting or insightful.)
The pressure Esiason faced on MNF paled in comparison to his playing days, and
it’s no match for what Miller will have to deal with this year. He’ll be able to
work out some kinks in the preseason (nobody watches preseason games — except the
editors at Pro Football Weekly, of course), but when MNF makes its regular-season
debut with the Broncos-Rams game on Sept. 4, the world will be watching, and Miller will
be vilified by the press if the broadcast doesn’t go well.
If Miller sticks to his usual schtick and doesn’t try to be Joe Broadcaster Guy,
he’ll do just fine. Anyone who watched him do the news on "Saturday Night
Live" or has seen his HBO show "Dennis Miller Live" knows he’s
extremely quick-witted and well-researched. (Anyone who watches the HBO show also knows
Miller is fond of using four-letter words. He can continue to do so for ABC, but
he’ll have to learn some new ones such as pass, kick, punt, yard and pick.)
Play-by-play man Al Michaels said he was surprised at how good Miller was during their
audition together. Hopefully, that’s a sign they’ll have good chemistry.
I’m confident Dan Fouts will fit in well with Miller and Michaels now that the Hall
of Fame quarterback is being cast as the straight man and not, as had been rumored, the
irreverent one. Fouts knows football. I interviewed him a few years back when his
ex-teammate, Charlie Joiner, was being elected to the Hall, and I could tell Fouts knew
his X’s and O’s. Moreover, his work as a college-football analyst was very
solid, if underappreciated. If new MNF producer Don Ohlmeyer hadn’t hired one
football guy, he would have opened himself up to ridicule. But the Miller-Fouts combo
should provide a nice mix of football and funny stuff.
(If you’re questioning my ability to analyze the analysts, please note that I
watch a lot of television. Too much, actually. I need to get out more.)
The one problem Ohlmeyer & Co. failed to address was the MNF schedule. By locking
into a set 17-week slate before the season, they leave open the possibility of some
late-season clunkers. (Remember last year’s Falcons-49ers season finale? Neither do
I.) Leaving the back end of the schedule open, as the networks do for their college
coverage, would have solved that dilemma.
That said, Ohlmeyer has taken a huge step in the right direction by hiring Miller.
Ohlmeyer presided over MNF during its Howard Cosell heyday and wants to recapture the
magic. Cosell was a once-in-a-lifetime personality, so it’s foolish to think MNF can
ever reach that level again. But if nothing else, the Miller hiring has stirred up
interest. |
