The Fantasy Doctor

The Doctor dials in on '98 disappointments
As published in print Sept. 21

As the third Sunday of the season came to an end, the staff at Pro Football Weekly looked around, and our offices resembled a M*A*S*H unit. Oh, no one was hurt. At least not physically. But the place was filled with ailing fantasy-football owners (especially yours truly), seeking a cure for the early-season blues.

There was only one thing to do to bring the editors out of their collective malaise.

Page the Fantasy Doctor.

Only PFW’s resident fantasy-football guru (reached at his summer cottage somewhere in Nova Scotia) could size up the sick and weigh in on the wounded.

Below is his take on 1998’s September stinkers. Players are listed alphabetically with their vital signs (pertinent statistics) and the Doctor’s prognosis.

RB Terry Allen, Redskins — 253 rushing yards, zero touchdowns, zero 100-yard games.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Allen isn’t playing poorly; the Redskins simply have fallen behind in every game, limiting Allen’s running opportunities.

TE Mark Chmura, Packers — 11 receptions, 140 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Full recovery. Chmura is catching passes and has a very high average per catch. He’ll get his.

TE Ben Coates, Patriots — Three catches, 24 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Full recovery. Coates has been hobbled by an ankle injury. The bye week will help heal him.

WR Curtis Conway, Bears — 15 catches, 218 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Conway has continued a disturbing trend that started last season (seven games, one TD). Chicago’s offense is hardly explosive.

TE Ken Dilger, Colts — Eight catches, 65 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Code blue. Where the Peyton Manning-led Colt offense is concerned, Dilger is dead.

TE Troy Drayton, Dolphins — Two catches, 18 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Code blue. Drayton is being taken out in passing situations in favor of Ed Perry.

WR Irving Fryar, Eagles — 11 catches, 129 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Fryar is suffering along with the rest of the Eagle offense. Then again, he’s all they’ve got.

TE Tony Gonzalez, Chiefs — 13 catches, 138 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Talk of Gonzalez’s emergence as a fantasy stud may have been premature.

PK Mike Hollis, Jaguars — 2-of-5 FG attempts, 15 points.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Hollis is kicking poorly, but opportunities are plentiful in the Jaguar offense.

QB Bobby Hoying, Eagles — 413 passing yards, zero TD passes, zero 300-yard games.

Prognosis: Code blue. Philadelphia’s offense is a mess, Hoying is black and blue, and Rodney Peete looked decent last week.

WR Michael Jackson, Ravens — Nine catches, 116 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis:Code blue. Jackson is now the No. 3 option in the Raven offensive behind Jermaine Lewis and Eric Green.

TE Freddie Jones, Chargers — Nine catches, 64 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Jones hasn’t scored, but he’s tied for the team lead in receptions, and Ryan Leaf has shown promise.

PK John Kasay, Panthers — 0-of-1 FG attempts, four points (in two games).

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Kasay’s lone problem is that he kicks for the Panthers.

QB Erik Kramer, Bears — 552 passing yards, one passing TD, zero 300’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Kramer has suffered from the fact that the Bears have gone ahead in all three of their losses.

RB Curtis Martin, Jets —260 rushing yards, zero TD’s, one 100-yard game.

Prognosis: Full recovery. Martin didn’t score, but he broke loose in Week Three.

WR O.J. McDuffie, Dolphins — 10 catches, 110 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Code blue. Being Dan Marino’s go-to guy doesn’t mean what it used to.

QB Scott Mitchell, Lions — 452 passing yards, one TD pass, zero 300’s.

Prognosis: Code blue. Mitchell’s days in Detroit appear to be over.

WR Rob Moore, Cardinals — 10 catches, 140 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Moore is well on his way to failing to live up to his career year of ’97.

WR Carl Pickens, Bengals — 21 catches, 202 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Pickens’ post-Jeff Blake average per catch is worrisome.

QB Jake Plummer, Cardinals — 507 passing yards, one TD pass, zero rushing TD’s, zero 300’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Plummer’s sophomore slump is in full bloom, but this kid is plucky. He’ll bounce back.

WR Jake Reed, Vikings — Six catches, 60 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Code blue. Two words: Randy Moss.

RB Antowain Smith, Bills — 206 rushing yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Smith is a very talented back running behind a very suspect offensive line.

WR Rod Smith, Broncos — 14 catches, 200 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. Smith is finding out what it’s like when defenses give you their full attention.

QB Kordell Stewart, Steelers — 392 passing yards, two passing TD’s, one rushing TD, zero 300’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. There’s a difference between a slump and a Rick Mirer-like 38.0 passer rating.

WR Yancey Thigpen, Oilers — 12 catches, 159 yards, zero TD’s, zero 100’s.

Prognosis: Semi-recovery. It could take the Oilers half a season to develop a down-the-field passing attack.

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